Anger

Confusion in the ranks, lack of assertiveness in the rear

Overwhelmed in the frontal lobe, voices chattering in the ear

Coming across as strange, feeling so more than usual

Lacking in confidence, situations bring over perusal

Repeating back words, twisting ones half caught

Making up scenarios, enjoying being distraught?

Mind racing, body moving, senses exploding

So many subliminal messages, there for the decoding

Tormentors are so near, conspiracies will abound

Now nothing real, has the capacity to astound

In the way the things I know can, the way I think

Forcing oneself further, all the way to the brink

Push-ups of the mind, a daredevil of the soul

Feeling extra special, until it takes its toll

Existence seems to centre on me, how bizarre

One person, on one planet, orbiting one star

Doctor gets involved, pathology starts his talk

F you doctor, I simply walk the walk

“Take these twice a day, they’ll stop you from thinking”

No hint of irony, all said without blinking

But, erm, ten years on, if you can’t think hasn’t tormentor won?

If you can’t feel why leave the life support on?

“We can look at other options, thanks for your feedback

We wouldn’t want us to have to deal with a relapse”

So slowly go the days when the tablets start to get smaller

Longer draws the stride as the innate starts to grow taller

Quickly go the thoughts as sensitivity starts to build

But less realistic are the dreams, yet to be fulfilled

Waking from the slumber with just a metaphorical sword

No longer noticing ire, just hammering on the keyboard

Day after day, boredom bites the hand on which it feeds

Turning up to work, being treated like those with special needs

But not ungrateful, to the lifesavers, the Samaritans and the few

Or for the family, the countryside, and the illusory pew

That was knelt at in the darkest hours, of inner reflection

When made to turn up to appointments, for inspection

But not support, nor therapy, nor rehabilitation

Just the same old drowsy medication